for anyone finding Christmas more painful than comforting - please know this truth. You are not weak. You are not broken. You are not failing. You are a parent who loved deeply and continues to love still. Surviving this is not small.

The night Zach left us will remain etched in my memory forever.   It began with the dogs’ frantic barking at 2 a.m., waking me from a restless sleep. I opened the Velux window to see a police officer standing outside.   "Mrs. Whittall, it’s the police," he said softly but firmly.   In that moment, my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I didn’t need to hear the words; I already knew. This was about Zachary.